Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
