She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
