Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
