You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
