Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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