I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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