Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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