fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize