Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
