I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
