And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
