i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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