I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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