she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You were trust falling into bushes
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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