I just gift wrapped bread.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
