the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
