it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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