Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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