brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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