I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize