I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
