he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
