i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just google imaged poop.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
