the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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