Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
