Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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