Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
