I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
