How'd it feel making her break her religion?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
