there's paper in my vomit.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
