tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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