the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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