i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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