margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
