have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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