I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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