R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize