His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
