Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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