Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
