ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
