Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
