you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
