i permit you to call me
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
