You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
