I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
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Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
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It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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