i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
