Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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