awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
