no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
