that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
