if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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