Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
