i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
