If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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