Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
