dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
