I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
