VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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