But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
