she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Vodka?
Forever.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
