btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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