That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
