Plan B is the new Plan A
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She's the barista slut.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
