she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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