I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize