i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
